I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
