ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
