She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize