Soap is not a condiment
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
