he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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