What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
