Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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