"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
