this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
