wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize