i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
