I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize