You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
