Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
