Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
