it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im six kinds of drunk right now
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
