Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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