bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
