I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
