So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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