he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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