you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
