did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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