hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
