I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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