This girl is more easily done than said...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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