Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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