I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
