I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
