We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
