Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
