saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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