something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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