they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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