Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
