I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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