You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
