so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
