I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
