So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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