If i come over, it means nothing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
