I want to stick my p in your. b.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
