i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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