So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
