I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Farmville is her only friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
