Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize