gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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