i just had sex bonerless
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
