I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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