How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
