So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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