Tell her she can't have a vagina
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
