There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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