Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Shame - the story of my life.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
