She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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