The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
