You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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