READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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