The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
