3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
