Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
two words: eviction party
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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