I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how drunk are you?
Several
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
