That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
