are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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