You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
